•      
     
    有一個小朋友從後追趕著一部剛從殯儀館1 駛出來的靈車2。
    		 
      他邊跑邊哭著:「爸爸，唔好走，唔好丟低我一個，爸爸返唻啊…」  
     
    路人3 紛紛向這個小孩投以同情的目光4。
    		 
     
    「真可憐5 ，年紀這麼小，老豆就死掉了！」
    		 
      這時候，靈車突然停下來。  
      接著司機打開車門，大聲對小朋友說：  
      「老豆返工呀！叫老媽子帶你返屋企啦！」  
         
     
    夜深，在十字路口6 前，司機停了車回頭一看，發現還有一位白衣女士，坐在最後一排7。
    		 
     
    司機繼續開車，看看倒車鏡8， 發覺那女子突然消失了，大驚！他立即剎車9，
    		 
     
    回頭一看，卻發現白衣女子依然坐在原來的位子。司機的轉過頭繼續開車， 膽戰心驚地偷看10  
    		 
      倒車鏡，但白衣女子又失蹤了。司機大驚下急剎車，回頭一看，那女子卻再度出現。 司機繼續開車，  
     
    不敢再偷看倒車鏡。一會兒後，白衣女子披頭散髮11， 臉容扭曲的12 站在司機旁。
    		 
     
    她輕聲細語道13： 「我跟你有仇嗎？我一綁鞋帶你就急剎車…」
    		 
         
      GLOSSARY  
     
    1. 殯儀館 (N. phr.) funeral parlour 2. 靈車 (N.) hearse
    3. 路人 (N.) passerby (眾數為: passersby) 4. 投以同情的目光 (V. phr.)
        cast a sympathetic glance (at somebody)
    5. 真可憐 (spoken) Poor little kid 6. 十字路口 (N.) crossroad
    7. 最後一排 (N. phr.) the last row 8. 倒車鏡 (N. phr.) rear-view mirror
    9. 立即剎車 (V. phr.) brake sharply / brake hard 10. 偷看 (V.) peep / peek (at sby / sth)
    11. 披頭散髮 (adj.) disheveled 12. 面容扭曲的 (V.) Her face was
    13. 輕聲細語道 (V.) whisper distorted in anger.  
    		 
  •  
         
      Most of us will one day get married. Before “upgrading” your lover to  
     
    , are you sure you have fully understood what your
    		 
     
    life will be like aftermarriage2 ?
    		If you have no idea about it,
    		 
      let's check out the following joke.  
         
         
      Dear Tech Support Team,  
     
    Last month I upgraded theoperating system3 from
    		 
      Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. Since then, the system keeps requesting  
     
    me to install Baby 1.0, which seems to take up a lot of resources4 ,
    		 
      whenever I switch it on.  
         
      In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now  
     
    monitors5 all other application activities. Applications
    		 
      such as Clubbing 3.2, Tennis 2.0 and BeerWithBuddies 6.5 no  
     
    longer run. The system crashes6 every time
    		 
      when I turn them on.  
         
     
    I'm thinking about downgrading the system back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstallation7  
    		 
      doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.  
     
    Please help!   GLOSSARY  
      Thanks. 1. spouse (N.) 配偶
      A Puzzled User 2. marriage (N.) 婚姻
        3. operating system (N.) 作業系統
      Thirsty for the reply? Go to 4. resource (N.) 資源
      www.juneleung.com/forum 5. monitor (V.) 監察
      and check out how the Tech Support Team 6. crash (V.) 失靈
      responds to this puzzled user's call for help. 7. uninstallation (N.) 解除安裝
    		 
         
         
      Dear Puzzled User,  
      This is a very common problem that people complain about.  
         
     
    Many people had their operating system upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a utility1
    		 
     
    and entertainment 2 program. Unfortunately, Wife 1.0 can only be upgraded to an advanced3
    		 
      version like Wife 2.0 and Wife 3.0. And, it is designed not to allow users to delete Wife 1.0 or to return to Girlfriend 7.0.  
         
      Indeed, Wife 1.0 is a great system coming with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5  
     
    and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper4 use will cause
    		 
     
    the system to launch5 the program NagNag 8.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of
    		 
     
    Wife 1.0 is to purchase6 additional software such as Flower 2.1 and Jewellery 4.0.
    		 
         
      WARNING: DO NOT install SecretaryWithShortSkirt series. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause  
     
    irreversible7 damage to the operating system.
    		 
         
      Best of luck,  
      Tech Support  
         
         
         
      GLOSSARY  
     
    1. utility (N.) 應用程式  
    2. entertainment (N.) 娛樂  
    3. advanced (adj.) 先進的、高級的  
    4. improper (adj.) 不正當的  
    5. launch (V.) 發動  
    6. purchase (V.) 購買  
    7. irreversible (adj.) 不可逆轉的